Up Late Again

I'm going pretty crazy with the reading lately. Yesterday I finished a whole book. This month I have read:
The Almost Moon and Lucky by Alice Sebold, Speak (which had a movie based on it, starring Kristen Stewart), and now I'm working on reading The Vampire Diaries series. I'm not a huge vampire fan or anything, but I figure since I saw a few episodes of the TV show and it seemed pretty cool, I'll give it a try. I have about about 20 books lately, and I'm making really good use out of them so far :) The more I read, the more busy my life feels and the more I feel that I'm accomplishing something, it's nice. I also feel a lot more creative and I think if I continue reading this much, writing a book is going to be so easy for me. I get lost in these books, and the world becomes real. I love how books do what a movie can't, they make you picture things for yourself, guess what people look like etc. It's really interesting. I can read for hours and not even realize how long it's been. It's a really great feeling. I keep thinking, if I'm ever so old that I can't do much of anything, I'll at least have to read so my life will seem more interesting!

Chris is passed out and I really should be too. I'm always the last person to wake up in the morning and the last person to go to bed at night, it's always been that way. I remember always hating that when I was a kid. I don't like being alone and when I'm the only person awake, I feel alone. I remember crying (sometimes I still do it) because everyone was sleeping. I guess I felt unsafe or something; like something bad was going to happen but no one would notice but me. I'm not sure exactly. It's just another one of my childhood fears I guess.

So anyway, I'm not too sure what to say lol. I'm just really inspired and wish that sleeping wasn't required lol. I would love to just read and write for days at a time.. maybe that makes me a real artist? LOL. Either that or crazy, right?! haha.

My mom is talking about visiting, and I don't know if I want to see her. Last time I saw her, things didn't exactly go as planned. I ended up freaking out and making a huge mess of her house because she was drunk in front of my younger siblings, after their dad clearly told her she couldn't do that. I'm scared to see her, because she has this strange power over me, and I hate to admit it, but it's true. She makes me feel like a little child just by looking me in the eyes. I can't stand up to her.  Okay, I should rephrase that; I choose not to stand up to her because I'm too scared. Scared of what? I'm not sure.

Sometimes I feel like it would be good for me to go back to therapy, not like I'm unhappy or anything, but just because it would be nice to have someone sit there and listen to all of this. I guess that's why I'm writing this.. it's like free therapy! :)

Well, Imma try to sleep or maybe read more.. who knows.

Later!

Goodbye Grandma

Here's the link to my latest topic on my forums http://www.adviceandrelationships.com/apps/forums/topics/show/3089525-goodbye-grandma

Okay, so I was just at my dad's house for like two hours because we were watching a movie together and I just couldn't stand being there. I had to go home. It's so strange knowing my granmda died there, that the house is being emptied out. I guess I never thought too much about how it would feel to not be allowed back in the house again. It's going to feel so strange, seeing another family in the house. I have tons and tons of pictures and videos of the house and everything, but it's not the same.

A part of me wishes I could buy the house myself but in all honesty, I know that doing that would just cause more pain. I'm sure grandma wouldn't want that. I'm not sure I could handle living in the house where she died. It's disgusting to me that no matter how hard I try, it always crosses my mind, I can still see her lying there, lifeless even before she was dead.

Sorry, I'm not trying to be all depressing or anything.. it's just so hard. I miss her and wish I could cry but the tears just won't come out. I miss her so much. I wish I could have her again. I want her with me.

Anyway, I dunno what else to say so I think I'm going to pass out for the night.

Thanks for reading :), it means a lot to me!

Bite of Seattle 2010

Did anyone else go to the Bite of Seattle? I went two days and OMG was it fun!! My bf won me a cute little stuffed animal and I got my face painted. I've been opening up a lot lately and I'm a lot happier. I am so glad I'm so in love with him and that I trust him so much. I'm finally feeling comfortable in my own skin and I love it!! FINALLY!!! I don't think he's ever seen me this happy so he was a bit freaked out at first lol. I'm really loud and like to yell random things out the car window lol.

Anyway, I've been reading a lot lately and drinking coffee again. I'm really happy. I miss my grandma a lot. I keep seeing her notes to me in the back of my books and it's breaking my heart. I wish she were here to see how great I'm doing and how well my online writing is going.

I LOVE YOU GMA!! Always and forever <3

Cheap One-On-One Advice

Need advice or just need someone to talk to? I can be that person for you. I love helping people and I don't want anyone in this world to feel that they are alone.

If you're interested, please CLICK HERE. I hope to speak with you soon.

-Brittany Brydahl CEO
AdviceandRelationships

Happy Fourth of July

How was everyone's Fourth of July? I didn't end up seeing fireworks this year, which I was pretty bummed about, but there's always next year :) My boyfriend was hanging out with his family and he had to work too. I think next year him and I should plan to spend the whole day downtown Seattle, that way we can find a parking spot.

So ya, what did you guys do for the 4th? Did you hang out with your family?

Do you have any pics to share with us... that would be cool since I didn't see anything in person!

-Brittany Brydahl CEO
AdviceandRelationships

Ask me anything/The Zoo

I just remembered that I have a formspring account, so feel free to ask me any questions. It's pretty fun. If you want to know something about me, ask my advice.. anything is welcome
http://www.formspring.me/BrittanyBrydahl

Today was an awesome day! I went to the zoo with my boyfriend, dad, younger brother and sister. It was a lot of fun. I've never been to the Tacoma Zoo before, and it was a nice change. I typically don't see polar bears at the zoo, so that was nice. I got some really neat videos that I should have time to put on my YouTube eventually. I'm usually behind on them though lol. I still have SO many on my computer that need to be uploaded lol.

So anyway, my favorite part of my time at the zoo was when the polar bear was swimming right next to the glass. It was crazy! I've seen things like that on tv, but never in person.

The aquarium portion of this zoo was really cool too. I usually don't care much about fish, but to see all the fish, sharks and other things in one big tank was awesome. I was just standing there, amazed, for the longest time lol.

Oh ya and another cool thing I did was feed a goat by hand! I was so proud of myself. I get pretty freaked out by stuff like that.

Last time we were at the zoo... about two weeks ago... I fed a little bird by hand too. That was really cool.

Well, I gotta get back to work,
Hope everyone's having a great weekend...

-Brittany Brydahl CEO
AdviceandRelationships

Moving

Alrighty, so the date's all set.. now we just have to wait lol. Chris and I have decided not to move to Idaho. However, we're soon going to be transferring to a larger apartment so we have room for our roommates to be comfortable. I'm sure sleeping on an air mattress in the living room isn't that great.

It's funny how I'm still stressed lol, even though we are only moving a few hundred feet away versus the 300-400 miles or whatever that we were going to move before. I just hate moving lol. Packing is a pain and I guess I'm not to fond of change.. it's part of the anxiety thing.

But anyway, wish us luck :p

-Brittany Brydahl CEO
AdviceandRelationships

Pick the best job for you

The definition of what a job is has really been changing recently. More and more people are choosing to work from home and when done correctly, it's working out great for many people. I am living proof of this. Never did I think that I would be able to pay all my bills and more just by WRITING online. That's right! WRITING online. It really is possible. I am so excited about this working out so well for me that I want to help all of you. I know you've heard me say it a million times probably, but it's true. There are websites that I have used that I can tell you have honestly paid me. You should NEVER have to pay a penny out of your pocket to make money online. I'm not saying those offers don't work, because I'm sure there are some that do, but I've never had to pay anything to earn money.

All I have ever needed was a paypal account, the ability to write and patience. I can't tell you how many spams I dealt with, because I had no one teaching me along the way. I have dealt with working my butt off and not getting anything in return. Either that or not getting paid what I deserve, because I didn't know what I deserved. It's a tricky field to work in when you don't have anyone helping you along the way.

If you ever have any questions, feel free to ask. I really want to help people have the freedom of working from home.

-Brittany Brydahl CEO
AdviceandRelationships